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When HOPE feels gone . . .

The Doctor turned from my chart and said, "I'm sorry Melissa, but you have Multiple Sclerosis." The shock of those words hit me physically. I knew what they meant. I had seen what MS looked like in other members of my family. A buzz began in my ears and I knew the doctor was still talking....but I wasn't comprehending anything. I realized that he was holding a paper out to me and I took it woodenly. On it was written the number for the place nearby to rent a wheelchair. I was still not taking the words in that he was saying. The second paper was the prescription for two different disease modifying drugs that I was supposed to choose which one I wanted to take.

My husband helped me walk out the the car. I don't remember the ride home. The despair of what that diagnosis meant was burying me. I didn't choose a drug. I was just in a sea of stark fear.

For you who have had a diagnosis that knocked you off your feet, you know how it feels! There is no recovery, the doctor had said. The best we can hope for is to slow the progression.

May I share three things with you?

  1. I knew in my deepest heart that this wasn't true....that there was no hope of recovery. What do you feel in your deepest heart about your health situation? Is it true that there is no hope of recovery? Hang onto that deep wisdom that lives inside of you....that KNOWS that there is an answer, that you MIGHT be able to get better. Hold that KNOWING close to you.

  2. Trust your intuition when looking for a practitioner to help you. Be brave and think outside of the box!

  3. Don't stop until you have found the practitioner or team of practitioners whom you know are going to support you to your highest level of recovery. Who believes WITH you that you can get better. Who are willing to answer the hard questions, go the extra mile to help you on your journey.

  4. KNOW that your deep wisdom inside that is saying, "You CAN get better," is right. Our bodies never do anything without a reason. Ever. Our job as stewards of our bodies and as practitioners, is to uncover what is causing the body to respond as it is, change those triggers, and create a space in which our amazing bodies can do their thing...and heal.

The end of my story is that I DID find a practitioner who walked beside me, helped me unravel what was going on in my body. 2.5 years later, I was symptom free. It's not a hoax because here I am, 7 years down the road and stronger than ever. Believe in your own body's ability to become well. YOU are worth it.

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